Why not dance again? 

I have no good reason not to. I’m 43.

I grew up dancing.  From the time I was about 5 years old, I had ballet shoes, tights and leotards on.  After school, it was off to ballet class.  Weekends were rehearsal times for upcoming performances.  At age 10 (or so) I was Alice in Alice in Wonderland!  I was a lost boy in Peter Pan!  I danced the jitterbug, the Messiah, and many other ballets.  I don’t remember a time in my childhood when I didn’t dance.  Once I discovered modern (contemporary) dance, I was sold!  I never had a ballerina body anyway…too curvy!  Modern dance allowed me to express myself.  I found freedom in movement and the stage was my second home.

1me_and_mom 1975Mom and me – 1975

Once I started having kids, I had to quit dancing.  I was consumed with raising my babies, and just simply making ends meet.  My ex-husband didn’t encourage me.  He wasn’t supportive of anything I wanted to do.  Taking dance classes can get very expensive and all of my resources went to providing for my family.  It was what it was…

mom_Dan

Mom and her dance partner. Not sure what year.

My beloved mother (R.I.P) was a gorgeous dancer.  She is, and always was, my inspiration.  Last year, after 25 years of being away from the dance world, I was invited back to perform with the company my mother co-founded over 25 years ago and not only that, to learn a dance my mom choreographed and performed back in 1999.  I had to learn it from watching a video recording less than a year after losing her battle with breast cancer.  It was probably the hardest thing I could do, but I knew I had to do it.  I had to do it for mom.  Many tears were shed, but I was proud of myself and I know she was dancing in heaven.  I felt her close to me and I know she was very proud.

Mom_dancing1

Once again, I’ve been invited to perform in the Spring concert with the same dance company.  I’m ecstatic because the choreographer is someone I knew as a child (a 19 year old child) and he was my absolute favorite teacher when I attended the college of the arts.  I feel as if I’m living her legacy.  I’m continuing to dance just as my mom always wanted me to and as she always did.  She never stopped dancing, not until she couldn’t physically dance anymore.  If I could turn back time, I would have started dancing again much earlier.  Actually, I never would have stopped.  I would have danced with my mom again, just like I did when I was growing up.  She always wanted to see me dance again.

I’m realizing it’s possible for me to dance. 

Why not?  I have no good reason not to.  I’m 43.Shelter2This is me. Dancing.

2014

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4 thoughts on “why not?

  1. This brought tears to my eyes as well. My daughter loves to dance–ballet is her passion for now. It is a highly competitive field, and I don’t know where it will take her, but I can’t tell her not to pursue her dream.

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    1. Thank you Sandi. It’s an emotional thing. Hindsight being 20/20, I would never have stopped dancing. Even if it’s not your daughter’s career path (yes, it’s highly competitive and full of disappointments) I hope that she never quits. My mom always believed that you are never too young or old to dance. No matter what your height, weight, physical strength or flexibility, if you love it, DO IT! I wish I’d listened to her. 🙂 Update – I took a dance class last Sunday and sprained my back! I’m so sadly out of shape!! Lol

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  2. That is absolutely beautiful, good for you for dancing again. I miss dancing too, not like you on the stage, but just to dance and feel the music move my spirit. Life gets in the way, doesn’t it? But as you say, there is no reason for me not to dance. And so I shall take your lead and dance today. Thanks for this reminder 🙂

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